i’ve walked these streets
a million times before
these sidewalks
house cracks so deep
they break the backs of mothers
who worry about their sons
every time they exit the front door
send them off
into battlefields
drafted for a war
they did not ask for
little boys with beautiful brown skin
blossom into men
with beards
labelled terrorist
i’ve walked these streets
with my mother in arm
a million times before
her crown
call it her hijab
adorns the profile of her face
bold and dazzling as she
these sidewalks
house cracks so deep
i step over them
to show her that we too deserve
to land on solid ground
grew accustomed to
the disregard
for the way you
take up space
and memorized
glares and scowls
like the back of my hand
from menacing eyes
that take aim
darting pellets
like target practice
i walk these streets
now
and my body seizes up
with every passing vehicle
i walk these streets
now
and wonder about the 9 year old child
orphaned into nightmare
i walk these streets
now
and wonder about
how that could have been me
wonder about
how that could have easily
been us
these sidewalks
house cracks so deep
they do not falter
inside these four walls
where grief has made a home
i am reminded that our faith
too
does not falter
unapologetic
and resolute as we are
i will continue to walk these streets
a million more times
until these sidewalks
graciously absorb my every step
i will continue to walk these streets
with arms spread wide
and take up the space
i’ve always deserved
i will continue to walk these streets
undeterred
until these sidewalks
house dandelions that bloom
from between
cracks
flowers
bright and yellow
flowers
they greet me
with signs of the seasons
rumor
change is not only coming
it’s already on its way.
for fayez afzaal
lh
june 2021
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